A Taste of Shabbos – Parashat Vayigash

Every Friday in the home of the Hassidic master, Elimelech of Lihzensk, was like Erev Yom Kippur. Since there were so many guests for Shabbos, the preparations of the multitude of maids and servants started early in the week. But on Friday afternoon, the workers would huddle together in the kitchen. Often with tears and sobs, they would beg each other for forgiveness, if any had, intentionally or not, hurt or offended the other by a curt word or action.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes that the Torah was the first recorded narrative in history about the idea and narrative of forgiveness in the detailed encounters between Yosef and his brothers. This next to the last portion of the book of Genesis has a name that is an explicit giveaway of its theme. In it Yosef and his family finally ‘come together’ in an actual ‘GOSH’ moment!

As a slew of the oral commentators elaborate, in an meeting of high drama, the two primary contenders, Yosef and his brother Yehuda, have a literally ‘earth-shaking’ moment. Lest you miss it, the Haftarah rubs in the point. G-d tells the prophet, ‘take two sticks…As one sage astutely observes, in order to get two sticks to stick together, one must clean off any ‘shmutz’ that covers the surfaces that need to be united. What a great metaphor for getting two sides to cooperate rather than compete.

As in any Teshuva process, there are three steps involved: recognition and admission, regret, and determination to change. Yosef put his brothers ‘through the ringer’ because he wanted them to go through a genuine Teshuva process. (Lest one think his approach is cold-hearted and distant, pay attention to all the times the Torah points out that he responds by crying.)

First Yosef accuses them of being spies, imprisons them for three days, and then sends them home to get Binyamin. After the reactive protest, they finally admitted to themselves, (they didn’t know that Yosef could understand them) ‘but we are guilty, when our brother cried out to us from the pit’ and we would not listen and showed no pity. 1-confession.

Then when Yosef had his ‘divination goblet’ planted on Binyamin and wanted to enslave him, Yehuda protested that they, all the brothers, were the guilty ones, and agreed to be slaves. 2-regret. When they refused to let Binyamin be imprisoned, Yehuda insisted that he would be the slave instead, and that Binyamin should go home. 3-behavior change. Finally, Yosef was satisfied with their change of heart, and they all ate and drank together.

In a similar way, Teshuva may be of great benefit before Shabbos arrives. Like the servants of Reb Elimelech, if we are involved in the world, during the six days of the week, friction with others is likely to occur. if when Shabbos comes we may still be holding a grudge and having negative feelings toward another, whether justified or not, it may be valuable amid all the Friday hustle and bustle, to take some time to ‘let go and let G-d’ help us to see the value in an upsetting interaction or experience. Special bathing or immersing in a ritual bath on Friday can help us wash off not just surface shmutz but also leftover weekday aggravations. That way, we can clear a space for the additional ‘Shabbos soul’ (which is really a part of our own higher soul) to enter our consciousness. If we can clear up some unresolved conflicts with others, we have a much better chance of Shabbos becoming a true taste of the world to come!