All I Want For Taschlich is Crumb

by Joshua Kail, America’s Rebbitzman

With the High Holidays in full swing, I thought I’d share that timeless High Holy Day classic; “All I Want for Taschlich is Crumb.” While Mariah Carey’s version may be better known, this one won’t make you want to run your car off the road after hearing it for the 30^th time within the hour.

I don’t have a goat for Taschlich

There is just one thing I need

I can’t swing a headless chicken

Sin-filled meat I will not eat.

I just want you, to atone

More than unbaked dough

Make my deeds undone

All I want for Taschlich is crumb, yeah

I have done a lot for Taschlich

There is just one thing I need

And I don’t care about the bread type

Deep inside the plastic bag.

I have done a lot to cast out

There in the golf course pond

Pillsbury Boy wont make me happy

With a fresh baked batch of buns

I just want to throw some in

More than you could ever know

Make my sins undone

All I want for Taschlich is Crumb

Crumb, baby

Oh, I have much to say this Taschlich

I told off some old hobo

And I stole some food from children

And I peed in school yard snow

I have made a list, Al Chet it

From the cheap seats in the back

I won’t even stay awake to

Hear the call to write a check

’Cause I just want to throw my bread

Letting go of you in flight

What more can be done?

Baby, all I want for Taschlich is crumb.

Crumb, baby

Oh, all the honey’s sticky golden everywhere

And the sounds of children whining fills the air

And everyone is kvetching

I hear the cracks of people standing

Rabbi, won’t you bring me the one I really need?

Won’t you please bring my baggy to me?

Oh, I don’t want a lot for Taschlich

This is all I’m asking for

I just wanna see my baggy

Hanging right out by the shore

Oh, I just want my sins undone

More than you could ever know

Make my sin undone

Baby, all I want for Taschlich… is crumb

crumb, baby

All I want for Taschlich is crumb, baby

All I want for Taschlich is crumb, baby

All I want for Taschlich is crumb, baby

All I want for Taschlich is crumb, baby

All I want for Taschlich is crumb, baby