A Taste of Shabbos – Parashat Va’etchanan

Once I was teaching some four year olds to say Shema. When they were ready to say it out loud, one little girl cried out, ‘Shema Daddy..’ I smiled because I realized her father’s name was Israel so she was really making it personal. Indeed, the Zohar tells us that besides referring to the collective body of the nation of Israel, the reference is also to the term ‘Yisrael Saba,’ the Ancient one of Israel, referring to the Source of being.  Indeed the first reference to this prayer is not with Moshe but rather with Yaacov. When Jacob was about to pass, he gathered his twelve sons around him- just as he had gathered twelve stones years earlier- and asked the sons about their commitment to the One G-d. Their response was, ‘Just as in your heart there is the Only One, so too in our hearts.’ And Yaacov’s reply was, what might be any father’s response now a days, ‘Baruch HaShem,’ or phew!

Shema is in the parasha we read right after Tisha B’Av and is the first of the seven portions of Nechama-consolation that take us to Rosh Hashana. In fact, the Haftarah of this week begins with a double dose of consolation, ‘NACHAMU, NACHAMU=be consoled, be consoled my people. It echos the Mishneh Torah, the double-ness of this book, and is a correction of what’s called a repetition of the two-fold transgressions of abandoning G-d and worshiping idols. This fully packed Shabbos also happens to be the holiday of ‘Tu B’Av,’ – Av 15 – a joyous and mysterious festival in Jewish History. Let’s take a peek at links between this festival and the parasha.

The Talmud relates many positive happenings on Av 15, among which are: 1-The men who believed the mistaken spies, stopped dying; later- 2- the tribes were allowed to intermarry with each other; 3-the bodies of the Jews who were killed in Beitar by the Romans did not decay, even when the Romans refused to let them be buried after many years. (Echoes of the Hostages?) These and other events of that day all point to a revival of Jewish unity, both in body and spirit- a series of events that are all related to the unbroken chain of connection between the generations.

In this parasha, we find some of the highlights of our tradition, with its intergenerational link, such as the Ten Commandments and the famous text of Shema Yisrael and the paragraph beginning with ‘V’ahavta.’ A curious phrase therein is ‘V’SHINANTAM L’VANECHA,’ ‘you should teach them to your children,’ where Rashi explains that the word children in this verse actually refers to students. Though the two words are obviously not synonymous, Rashi is implying a deep bond between the two; children should be perceived as students, and students as children. Many great sages shared pointers about this bond. For example, if parents want to be effective as teachers, and vice versa, the key is to model the desired behavior rather than just ‘preach it.’ Otherwise, the children, or students, will end up telling their children or students to act correctly, while they themselves may behave otherwise.

Also in both cases there needs to be the right blend of Chesed and Gevurah- kindness and discipline. And that blend can be differentiated according to the situation or personality. Nowadays, almost all rabbis eschew corporal penalties, where the results of the latter may be temporary obedience but long term rebellion. There is a story of a boy whose father was the principal in his school. In school his father was very strict with him to show he wasn’t playing favorites. Finally one day when the boy came home, he begged his father to take a little of his personal love at home, into his school functioning. He reminded his father that during the High Holidays, we say the prayer of Avinu, Malkeinu= Our Father, our King, with father coming first!

In the Ten Commandments, the command to honor parents comes right after the command to remember/guard the Shabbat. Several reasons are given for the proximity. A straight forward intention is that if a parent tells a child to transgress the Sabbath, the child doesn’t have to listen; G-d is the ‘parent of all parents,’ and so His word takes precedence. There is another rather lengthy reason that I just came across that is too beautiful not to share:  This is written in a book called, ‘Embrace Shabbos’ by Rabbi David Sutton: ‘On Shabbos one is given a special opportunity to benefit his deceased parent’s soul…The Zohar comments that a person receives an extra soul on Shabbos, and when that soul returns to the heavens and shares its new Torah insights, a crown is placed on the head of the father…The Arizal taught that this concept is alluded to by the proximity of the command to observe Shabbos with the one to honor parents.’ This parental gift is not just for scholars. The Chida writes that even if a person learns a new Torah thought or reviews something with greater clarity, this brings great joy and honor to a deceased parent in the higher world!   

The parent-child connection is also reflected in the fact that, since the Jewish day follows the preceding night, the very first mitzvah a Jewish child has on becoming an adult is to say the evening Shema. He or she may have been saying it since early childhood, but it becomes a full-fledged mitzvah upon reaching 12 for a girl, and 13 for a boy, when the parental obligation of parent qua child as student, becomes fully activated.

Shabbos is a time when children and parents blend together beautifully. Just as the twelve tribes surrounded Yaacov in their differential loyalty, so Jewish children throughout the ages, when raised successfully, are able to take on their parents ideals, while they are developing their own uniqueness- which is why in our prayers we say, ‘Blessed are you oh G-d, our G-d and G-d of our fathers.’  The sages say that when the Ten Commandments were uttered, the Israelites responded by calling out, like Yaacov’s sons, ‘Shema Yisrael.’ 

No wonder the rabbis decided that the two prayers in the morning service that should be said intentionally are Shema and the blessing that mentions our ancestors!  As Rav Kook proclaimed nearly 100 years ago, ‘we must remember we are one people, one family…we should continue to strongly advocate for our positions, but always remember that we are negotiating with siblings.’ As we sit together at a Shabbat table in particular, let us recall further, Rav Kook’s words: ‘Let us come to know one another under the inclusive name YISRAEL! ‘ So many Jews have died with SHEMA on their lips; Let us now insist on living by the words and message of SHEMA YISRAEL!