A Taste Of Shabbos – Parashat Acharei-Kedoshim

We have another ‘double header’ this week, but with a much greater variety of themes and mitzvot than before. The most well-known commandments are the laws about Yom Kippur,  forbidden relationships mentioned in both portions, and the verses that refer to basic Jewish Ethics, like ‘Love your friend as yourself’ and ‘Don’t take revenge,’ and ‘Don’t stand by the blood of your brother.’ A common thread is that we are all intertwined with each other. And so we have Hillel’s paraphrase of Love your friend…’that which is hated by you, don’t do to another.’ Maimonides states it dramatically: Each person should consider that the world is on a scale of balance and the next choice you make can tilt the scale to one side or the other.

Yom Kippur highlights this point when we recall that when the confession is recited, each person says it on behalf of everyone- ‘AshamNU’-we have sinned- like the person who digs a hole under his cabin in a ship, but the leak affects everyone. (Perhaps this is why Jews say ‘NU’ so often). Conversely, on the side of good, the high priest who performed the service in the holy temple was not a private person; he was able to purify the entire nation.

In a similar way, Kedoshim begins with a verse of seemingly unrelated teachings: ‘A person should revere his/her mother and father, and keep my Sabbaths.’ In the Ten Commandments, these two mitzvot are also adjacent. Why is this so? One important connection is that they both reflect gratitude to who gave/gives us life. In a way, this principle is the root of almost all the commandments.

One famous story related to this connection is about a rabbi on a plane sitting near a secular academic. The rabbi’s grandson, sitting in another row, kept coming over to see how his Zaidi was doing. The other man also had a grandson who didn’t pay any attention to his grandfather. The man asked the rabbi for his secret, and the rabbi said, ‘Simple. Your philosophy is that we are all descended from apes, so the kid thinks he is more progressive and advanced than you. My outlook is that our ancestors received the highest revelation from the encounter at Sinai, so since I am closer to that time, my grandson feels a need to respect me.’ Therefore, since Shabbos conveys the latter perspective, its adherents will take respecting elders more seriously. In addition, we are promised a longer life for honoring parents, and so there will be more opportunity to keep Shabbat!

There is another verse in Kedoshim whose parts don’t seem related but if we look more carefully we may find a profound insight. The Torah says: “Don’t hate your brother in your heart; you should rebuke friend and don’t bear a sin over him.” The sages elaborate on this verse; one link is that if you do have something to disapprove of, don’t keep it inside. If you express yourself respectfully, the accused will either explain himself or apologize. Otherwise, your repression may eventually lead to bearing a grudge or G-d forbid committing revenge!

Even the verse, ‘Love your friend as yourself’ has a curious conclusion: ‘I am the Lord your G-d.’ Why is that ending necessary? One way of looking at that verse, teaches the Baal Shem Tov, is to punctuate it differently, taking the word ‘as yourself’ and attaching it to the end instead of the first part. Then the verse will read, ‘Love your friend’ and then ‘as you, I am G-d.’ In other words, like the idea that ‘G-d is your shadow,’ G-d treats us the way we treat others.’

There is a well-known story told by the Rizhiner Rebbe about a king who got angry at one of his ministers and called him to court to convict him, but at the last minute the ministers friend came running in and cried out that he was responsible for the misdeed. The first one screamed that the second was trying to protect him and they yelled back and forth till finally the king got off his throne, and went over and hugged both men and exclaimed, ‘I WANT TO BE YOUR THIRD FRIEND!’ So it is with us and G-d. If we can overcome anger and grudges at another, whether warranted or not, Hashem will join us and bring us blessings.

One of my favorite empathy stories is that of a rebbe’s two sons who were playing rebbe and chasid. The chasid boy told his older brother that he did something wrong and needed a way to fix it. When his brother suggested something, the younger boy shook his head, saying No, no. ‘What did I say that was not right?’ asked the older brother?’ The little one replied, ‘When Tatty gives someone a remedy, first he says OY.’ Without empathy, both the message and the connection may be faulty.

Shabbos is also mentioned toward the end of Kedoshim- ‘Keep my Sabbaths and revere my holy place.’ The Beis Yisroel, one of the rebbes of Ger, writes that the holy place is actually the home of every Jewish person. Thus Kedoshim actually means ‘holy’ in the plural, referring to the potential sanctity of all our homes, especially on Shabbos. In this busy ‘hit and run’ world where it’s so easy to upset a person without repairing the hurt or even realizing that it happened, Hashem gives us a gift of Shabbos to leisurely sit down with our friends and family, and make sure our relationships are mended. We can most easily accomplish this because Shabbos confers blessings upon us from a place where we are actually already united, from the Source of all being.