A Taste of Shabbos: Parashat Lech Lecha

In a week of intense emotions and disagreements, it might be valuable to focus on how we greet our fellow Jews with our traditional greeting of SHABBAT SHALOM. Can Shabbos shed some light on interpersonal, and especially inter-familial friction? It is rather curious that we greet people with the words, ‘SHABBAT SHALOM.’ This greeting is actually codified in Jewish tradition. The mystic Rabbi Chaim Vital, among others, stated, “After prayer, one should go home and declare aloud, ‘Shabbos Shalom.’

But how does the word SHALOM meaning hello, goodbye, or primarily PEACE relate so directly to Shabbos? Many pathways of connection may spring up. One is very literal: the primary importance of lighting candles to signal the beginning of Shabbos is explained in this way: Since being in the dark could cause people to bump into each other, and perhaps start fights, illumination in the home is conducive to peace, penultimate virtue in Judaism. Of course, we can carry this idea beyond physical boundaries.

One idea seems most relevant to me. Most conflict in the world comes from divisiveness. Indeed the Zohar calls this world, ‘Alma d’peruda’ = the world of separation, where in contrast the world to come is called, ‘Alma d’yichuda’ = the world of unity. There are so many forms of separation in this world, but in religious terms I think the primary one is the separation between matter and spirit, or more specifically, body and soul.

On Shabbos however, this rift is meant to be healed. One example is when the sages say that Jews are given a ‘neshama yeteira = an added soul. Rashi explains that this means to ‘eat and drink.’ Aside from Yom Kippur, Jewish holy days are commemorated not by isolation or removal from this world, but by more physical pleasure! The underlying premise is that the same G-d who created all of life wants us to relate to the Divine in ways that bring spirit and matter into harmony rather than conflict. And isn’t that what peace is all about both interpersonally and within each individual? Aren’t we all sort of multiple personalities, with different traits and desires? A fit person of ‘sound mind and body’ is able to integrate even clashing characteristics into a smooth functioning being under the leadership of a healthy ego. If we can be successful with that internal integration, we will be better able to be successful in relating to those with whom we may disagree.

Now let’s turn to this week’s parasha and see if we can find some guidance for dealing with familial disputes. Avraham, his wife and nephew Lot set out for the land of Canaan, based on the command of G-d and the promise of prosperity. When they get there, Lot decides to let his sheep graze on private land, without muzzles, banking on G-d’s promise. Avraham however refuses to remove the muzzles because G-d had promised that land to his children, not to him directly and at that point he was still childless. The sages say that Lot looked so much like Avraham, that it was easy to confuse the two, so Avraham asserted that Lot move away. However, even when he insisted on separate spaces, he never relinquished his care for Lot. As Rashi puts it, When Avraham said, ‘If you go left, I’ll go right,’ he meant to say, ‘wherever you settle, I will not go far from you and I will stand by you for protection and assistance.’ Indeed, later when Lot was captured in a war, Avraham didn’t hesitate to go to rescue him. Family is family, and all the Jewish people are one family. So even when we maintain our differences, let us not write the other person off our peripheral radar screen. Remember that Avraham’s tent was open on all four sides. More about that next week, G-d willing.