And then I attended a session at the GA today about “What Do Israelis Really Care About Anyway?” and the first speaker, Haviv Rettig Gur made some very interesting observations that I put together with comments made at last week’s “A Jew is A Jew” Haver program, and now it makes perfect sense.

Haviv Rettig Gur

What Rettig Gur said was that after the Holocaust, when the European center of Jewish life and culture disappeared, two new centers of Jewish life and culture grew up in its place.  One was the United States, and one was Israel.  And they took two entirely different paths to Jewish life and culture.

Israel, as the ancient homeland of the Jewish people, became the center of tribal Jewishness.  To be Jewish in Israel, the only country in the world that moves to the rhythms of the Jewish calendar; the only country in the world that takes Saturday off; the only country in the world with a Jewish majority, it takes nothing more than to be in Israel.  Which is why Israeli society is largely secular, but very comfortable with their Jewishness nonetheless.  When you are born in Israel, there is no question that you will grow up to be Jewish… you just are.  And when you enter the army at age 17 or 18, it is to defend your homeland, your family, your “tribe.”

America, on the other hand, is the home of individual choice.  America is a nationality that anyone that arrives here can immediately take on while casting off whatever identity they had when they arrived.  (For some, this might take an extra generation to lose an accent, but even so, Americans are uniquely tolerant of newcomers who want nothing more than to play by the rules and make a better life).  America was founded on the principle of religious choice; freedom of religion as well as freedom from religion.  People are able to change their religious views and affiliations more easily in America than in any other corner of the world.  On top of which, the 65 years since the end of the Holocaust have seen unprecedented levels of freedom for and acceptance of Jews in America.  By and large today, Jews don’t need to hide to have a good life in America.   Being Jewish in America is a choice… and defined as a religious choice.  All that said, if you are born Jewish in America, you will grow up American…. but there is no guarantee that you will identify as Jewish at 30.

This has resulted in an almost complete bifurcation of the Jewish people — as though the yin moved to Israel, and the yang moved to America.  The tribal Jews live a “naturally” Jewish life with strong Jewish identity in Israel; the Jews of America define Jewishness primarily in religious terms and count Jews primarily by their affiliation with organized religious Jewish life.

Jews of America fear greatly for the “continuity of the Jewish people” by which they mean, religiously affiliated and observant (at whatever level) Jews.  Jews of Israel fear greatly for the “continuity of the Jewish people” by which they mean the physical survival of the Jews living in the land of Israel.

Is it any wonder the two groups do not really understand one another?  The greatest fear of an American Jewish parent is that their child will intermarry, and they and their children will be lost religiously.  The greatest fear of an Israeli parent: their child will be killed by a terrorist; their next greatest fear is that their child will lose the Zionist dream and move to America.  These are very different fears indeed.

What Americans came up with to raise the odds of their Jewish kids (most of whom don’t go past Bar Mitzvah in Jewish education, if they get that far) staying and marrying Jewish is … create a bond with the State of Israel.  That is, re-establish the yin of the tribal Jewish identity that is so strong in Israel.  One of the most successful programs for doing this has been Taglit-Birthright.  Young adults go on a free 10-day trip to Israel that is designed to re-connect them to their tribal roots.  But what is often the outcome?  The revitalized American Jew comes home and then does something that few if any Israelis do — affiliate with a synagogue.

But here is the interesting corollary that I heard last week at Haver’s “A Jew is a Jew” forum:  That secular Israelis that move to America sometimes actually find religion!  That the pluralistic, open, modern strains of Judaism as practiced in America actually fill a spiritual yang that many Israelis long for, but rarely find in Israel.

And Rettig Gur has an explanation for this too:  Judaism in America has always been the fractured, diaspora model.  For the vast majority of American Jews, there are no chief rabbis, no central authority.  As close as the American model can come, and so typically American, is that each established denominational branch of religious Judaism has its seminary, its rabbinical council, and an elected President, but no “chief rabbi” that unilaterally speaks for the community in halachic — or other — terms.

In total contrast, Israel adopted, as in so many other areas, the British model.  Since Israel was to be a Jewish state, then it follows that Judaism is the state religion.  And this leads to, if not a high priest (or an Archbishop of Canterbury) then at least a chief rabbi.  But bowing to the political realities of the time (and to this time), there must be an Ashkenazi chief rabbi and a Sephardic chief rabbi, but these two were more like covering the needs of two distantly related tribes than that of  two distinct denominations.  With essentially one state-recognized denomination, and a liberal socialist collectivist body politic, there developed only two options: Torah-observant orthodoxy, or secularism.

Sixty-three years after the re-birth of the State of Israel, we have two almost equal-sized branches of a family that look at their very identity as a family in polar opposite ways… no wonder there is so much confusion and even friction in the family!  But at least now, I get it.

Like much of America, we were shocked and saddened by the shooting that took place Saturday morning in Arizona. As of late this evening, reports are that the congresswoman remains in critical condition.

Much will be written and discussed in the coming days, weeks and months about the details of the event – who, what, where, when, speculation as to why. For today, much of our responses were emotional, particularly as facts emerged:

The judge who was killed had come from celebrating Mass. The 9 year old girl who was killed was born on September 11, 2001. Rep. Giffords’ Jewish background – she has a Jewish father and is affiliated with a Reform congregation.

We applaud Sheriff Dupnik of Pima, Arizona. Sheriff Dupnik spoke from the heart at Saturday’s press conference about the effects of “vitriolic rhetoric” and the need for soul-searching as a country.  In just the hours since the shooting, so many controversies have already been connected with this event: access to guns, mental illness, impact of the media, drugs, politics, religion, immigration and more.

What stands out for us are the appalling reports of target practice at campaign events (using a photo of Rep. Giffords as the target), maps with crosshairs and congressional names attached, calls to “reload.”  There’s no place in America for thugs. Though the sheriff is already being criticized for “politicizing” this event, we fail to see how the point-blank shooting of an elected member of Congress is anything but political.  How do we heal the spiritual wounds from deteriorating political discourse? How does our nation heal when guns are pointed at our leaders? How can there be healing when political darlings offer condolences but leave the crosshairs map available for “fans” to see?

In other sad news, noted Jewish singer and songwriter Debbie Friedman also remains in critical condition. On Sunday evening (January 9) a Healing Service is scheduled for 8 pm at the JCC in Manhattan (6 pm Mountain time). Oh – yes, we know that’s a bit far. This event will be “livestreamed” on Ustream, a website that will have live video of the event on Sunday. Click here to watch the event while it’s happening. More information about the worldwide prayer effort is in this article from Forward. Sing along – pray along – may our prayers for healing be heard. UPDATE: We learned this morning of Debbie Friedman’s passing early today. May her memory be for a blessing z”’l.

Here are the lyrics to Mi Shebeirach (lyrics by Debbie Friedman and Drorah Setel)*

May both women – and our nation – have a complete healing in the days to come.

Why only four days left?  Because when the credit was renewed in 2008, the State Legislature put in a limitation: starting in 2011, the state’s budget office must forecast that the state will run a surplus in a given year in order for the credit to be available.  The forecast is made before the end of each prior year (in this case, 2010), and the forecast for 2011 is for a deficit.  So, the credit won’t be available for 2011.

The Colorado Child Care Contribution Credit (known as “5C”) makes a gift to a qualifying organization incredibly tax efficient.  This means that for a typical taxpayer, a $1,000 gift costs the same after tax savings as a $288 gift to a non-qualifying organization: $203.

Child Care Contribution Credit Tax Savings*
(Example assumes 25% Federal tax bracket and taxpayer itemizes deductions.)

Situations vary; donors should consult their tax advisors for advice about how the credit affects their tax picture. *Example courtesy of Allied Jewish Federation of Colorado.

So, please give this some thought as the clock ticks down on 2010.  Boulder organizations that qualify for the Colorado Child Care Contribution Credit include the Boulder Jewish Community Center and the Boulder Jewish Day School.  Please visit their web sites to learn more.  But don’t delay… just four days left.

We haven’t had time to digest it ourselves, but we know this topic is on the minds of local leaders. Here’s just one tidbit:

Established organizations will have to rethink their governance structures to make room for younger Jewish leaders. The latter find ample opportunities outside the Jewish community and also in the nonestablishment sector to rise rapidly to positions of influence. Established organizations tend to place younger people on a slower track, testing them and socializing them into the organizational culture before elevating them to positions of influence. This frustrates many creative young people who have experience taking the initiative in other settings and don’t want to “wait their turn.” One can acknowledge the virtues of mentoring and grooming as the preferred way in establishment organizations, while also recognizing that time is not working in favor of those organizations.”

Here’s another:

The actual ecosystem of programs for young adults cannot easily be divided between the innovative and the conventional. For one thing, participants go where they please, with little regard to who is sponsoring an activity. They don’t care whether a Federation or a national organization is sponsoring an event, any more than they care if a start-up is. What matters is the quality of the experience, the presence of people with whom they wish to associate, and the meaning (or pleasure) they can derive from an event. For another, the leaders and organizers of these programs themselves move fluidly from one to the next.”

And we would be remiss if we didn’t take notice of this remark:

It is striking how small a role gender plays in the patterns of leadership we have examined.”

In the table on page 43 of the report, we can see that female leaders outnumber male leaders in all categories of “Young” organizations:

• Young Nonestablishment, 65% female 35% male
• Young, Mixed  63% female 37% male
• Young, Establishment 55% female 45% male

as well as in the category “Old Nonestablishment” (56%: 44%).  The only category where female leaders lag male leaders is in “Older Establishment” organizations.  Ratios of nearly 2 to 1 among young leaders sounds like more than a small role.

Nice shout-out to our friends at E-3 and to Heshy Fried, whose Frumsatire blog got a mention in the study (advisory: mature content on that one).

For more reading about the study, here’s a link to a JTA article about it (with a provocative title): New study of emerging Jewish leaders shows class differences.

We look forward to reader /leader comments about the findings and how you see them at play in our own community.

–Cheryl & David

At a time when American families are tightening household budgets, does it really make sense to continue to charge thousands of dollars to participate in Jewish life? … Wouldn’t the central challenge of American Jewry be to encourage the broadest range of people…to identify as Jewish and to raise Jewish kids?”

The 2007 Metro Denver/Boulder Jewish Community Study (completed before the financial turmoil of the last two years) supports that question.  Newcomers and those at the lowest end of the household income scale were the least likely to belong to synagogues. It is hard to imagine that the statistics could have improved since then.  As we approach the High Holidays this year, is this the community we want to be?

I came across the Newsweek article just after learning (via Twitter) about interesting programs in two cities, Washington DC and Boston, both of which have a mechanism for providing discounted and complimentary tickets to help newcomers or young adults find a place to go for the High Holidays. It’s an interesting approach – essentially the “freemium” model that is common among internet startups and iPhone apps.

Give your service away for free . . . acquire a lot of customers very efficiently through word of mouth, referral networks, organic search marketing, etc., then offer premium priced value added services or an enhanced version of your service to your customer base.” (Fred Wilson, 2006)

One might say that Shabbat services are open and free year round, and the High Holidays are in fact the Jewish world’s “premium priced value added services.” But really, if you were going to “try before you buy,” wouldn’t you want to try the High Holiday service? How we treat the newcomer when the ark is open until the end of Yom Kippur – isn’t that what we would want a newcomer to see? The time when people most want to be in community with us is the time we as a community put up the gates – the financial barriers to entry.

Imagine if there were free High Holiday tickets for newcomers, young adults and anyone in need in our community. Imagine if our messages were “Pray with us. Come back in. Reconnect.” Imagine a few decide to stay and become members. Perhaps they become teachers. Maybe they become volunteers. Maybe they tell their friends. Maybe for the rest of the year, they have a good feeling about the community that was brave enough to say “Times are tough. Our door is open. No charge.”  Do you expect a flashmob?  Would that be so terrible?

As always, we look forward to your comments.

In case you missed how it works (or ignored it when you noticed it), Facebookers who heard about the contest were invited to “Like” Chase Community Giving. That step enabled one to access their application and to vote. Each person had up to 20 votes to cast for whichever non-profits they chose. A search tool helped locate “eligible” non-profits. Searching “Jewish” and “80303″ brought up a short list of the local Jewish organizations that were eligible. After voting one could “share” with friends to encourage others to vote. The top vote-getter wins $250,000, the next four each receive $100,000 and the remaining 195 in the top 200 would each get $20,000.

Challah for Hunger raises money and awareness for hunger- and disaster-relief, through the production and sale of challah bread.  They have 32 chapters based on college campuses (including one in Australia), and we applaud them for their work (and hope that CU gets a chapter going in the near future).

Here’s how other Boulder-area Jewish organizations fared:

• Boulder Jewish Community Foundation: #9738 (6 votes)
• Menorah: #19467 (3 votes)
• Boulder Jewish Day School: #58237 (1 vote)
• Boulder Jewish Elder Housing:  (1 vote)
• Limmud Colorado: (0 votes)

The #200 non-profit received 1,481 votes and won $20,000.  The closest Boulder-area organization appears to be the Boulder International Fringe Festival, at #343, with 451 votes.

Seems to us that next time, we might engage all our networks to bump up our chances. In these tough times, $20,000 would go a long way for any of our organizations, and there’s not such a big distance between 6 votes and 1,481 votes.  Next time you see this come around, we hope you’ll participate!

Here’s an update - additional article about Chabad groups winning $340,000 (collectively) through Chase Community Giving.

Rabbi Lewis “Buz” Bogage performed a beautiful Jewish ceremony in fairly routine liberal ritual, and made everyone feel included and comfortable for this interfaith couple and their families and guests.  Prayers and vows were spoken, rings exchanged, blessings offered, wine shared, the rabbi even read their ketuba.  And glass was broken at the end.  The happy couple led a recessional of parents and wedding party, and the whole ceremony just seemed so normal.

In talking to Rabbi Bogage during the reception, he mentioned that he was referred to the couple by another rabbi the couple had approached first, but who doesn’t do interfaith weddings.   This, unfortunately, is still too much a reminder of our past.  When an interfaith couple wants to create a Jewish home, what message are we sending when many of our rabbis decline to perform these ceremonies?  A recent (2007) local demographic survey put the number of intermarried Jewish couples in the Denver/Boulder area at 51%.  More telling is that 70% of respondents under 35 are intermarried and 71% of those married in the prior ten years are intermarried.  The study stated:

Building community with families that include non-Jews needs to be seen as an opportunity. … Jewish families that include non-Jewish members need to have the same access to opportunities to “do Jewish” or to “be Jewish” as families where everyone is Jewish.  Synagogues and other institutions need to welcome interfaith couples and families. … Especially for the intermarried couples which have not yet decided whether or not to raise their children Jewish, the existence of friendly pathways into Jewish life can have a huge impact on their decision-making.” — 2007 Metro Denver/Boulder Jewish Community Study

While we believe that Boulder is somewhat ahead of the national curve in the acceptance of intermarried families, there is still work to be done in making these families feel welcome and engaged.

What was unusual about our conversation with Rabbi Bogage was that during the inevitable Jewish geography session, we found out that he had gone to school with Rabbi Bronstein.  Actually, Rabbi Herbert Bronstein, Rabbi Deborah’s father.  Rabbi Bogage is in his 60th year in the rabbinate, and seven years into (semi-) retirement in Denver.  And yet he handled the situation as though it were totally normal, treating the couple with love and respect for their joint decision to form a Jewish household.

Both fathers, during their toasts, talked about how welcoming and friendly the other family had been to their respective children and families, how happy their children seemed together, and wished them all the best in their new life together.  Again, it all seemed so normal.

This is what the future should be like — the community and families coming together to celebrate two people’s decision to bind their lives together Jewishly “during good times and adversity, during sickness and health, sharing each other’s burdens and joys” for the rest of their days.

And it shouldn’t matter a bit if the couple, as it happened today, is made up of two women. What we attended today was not, in fact, a wedding according to the laws of the State of Colorado, it was a “commitment ceremony,”  and the only unusual feeling from today was the total avoidance of the words “wedding” and “marriage” even though in every other respect, that was what we witnessed.

Shannon’s and Lindsay’s commitment to each other seemed just as deep and just as genuine as any couple whose wedding we have attended.  In our vision of the future, Shannon’s and Lindsay’s commitment to one another will also seem utterly normal, as will their acceptance by the state as well as the mainstream Jewish community and most rabbis.  May that time come soon, and in our lifetime.

As you may have seen in the Daily Camera, a lawsuit has been filed against Congregation Har HaShem. A reader of Boulder Jewish News emailed us to see if we would “cover” this story.

We thought we would take this opportunity to share our point of view on what makes “Jewish community news.”

As many of you know, we have been active members of the Boulder Jewish community for 15 years. We have been members of many organizations, donors to many more, staff of some and volunteers at others. Our kids grew up here, became bar/bat mitzvah here, are in youth group and Hebrew High. Our parents now live here as well. We’ve interacted in some capacity with nearly every organization here and as a result, we have strong connections. That’s a long way of saying that we were already aware of much of what was in the Camera. And we chose not to “cover it” or “break the story.”

We created Boulder Jewish News as a community site and have invited all organizations to participate in sharing information. We have seen a great response and scores of people, including staff, volunteers and others, have posted articles which we’ve published. On rare occasion we have declined to publish something we felt was inappropriate.

Over the last several months, we’ve had more than one interaction with board members and staff about sensitive topics, not only at Har HaShem but at other organizations as well. We have had access to information that was “non-public.” The question for us has been, at what point is it appropriate for us to publish private information that might be sensitive to a particular organization? We may be partly clouded by our relationships in the community, but our perspective has been that until an organization is ready to make a public announcement, information we might have – about staff, boards, donors and finances in particular – could easily fall into the category of lashon hara. We wouldn’t be able to get the feathers back in the pillow.

As an aside, this is partly a function of how we were raised. In Dad’s professional life, he was privy to sensitive personal information about community members. The rest of us were the last to know – and we didn’t hear it from him. We only learned the info when the parties involved made it public. This ethic of trust and respect for personal information we extend to our community here.

That said, we have a strong belief that organizations have a responsibility to become more transparent. We are strong supporters of organization blogs and feature the feeds from existing blogs every day on BJN. Our advice to organizations struggling with difficult challenges is to tell your story, through BJN or your own website. Let the community hear what is going on from your own perspective. “Get ahead of the story: control your message” as it were. The new reality is that with email and the internet, it’s hard to control who sees your message. We know that at times, counsel might advise no comment. We’re certain there’s ground between saying nothing and saying too much. We think it’s better coming directly from the source, not from investigative reporting that we might do. This isn’t TMZ.  Or the New York Times. Your story, your information belongs first and foremost on your own website. BJN is the mechanism for sharing it more widely through the community.

Local organizations should also understand that even things that seem to be “for your membership only” often have a wider sphere. You invite the community to your fundraisers. We are all your stakeholders. People thinking about moving to Boulder use Google just like the rest of us. What do you want people to find? What do you want prospective donors or members to see? Whose message will it be?

Could our perspective on this editorial approach evolve? Yes, depending on circumstances. But for now, we’re more interested in what we can do to support local Jewish organizations and the community we’re all building here, rather than turning over rocks to see what might be underneath.

Back to the question from our reader, about whether we’ll cover this story.  First, we’ll publish press releases or other communications to keep the community informed about developments.  Second, as we have done for several months, we’ll include links to “Newsy” articles from other sources (you’ll find the link to the Camera article there). We do not lift content from other sources and simply republish it, but the Newsy links are refreshed fairly frequently. Finally, if there’s more to cover, we’ll continue to use our judgment about the timing and depth of coverage.

We look forward to your feedback.

David & Cheryl