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Dr. Jenni looks at Purim - one of the most fun, festive, and pleasurable holidays experienced in Judaism - in a new way.

Purim Pleasure: Role-play as Foreplay

Sexy Shabbos with Dr. Jenni

Purim is one of the most fun, festive, and pleasurable holidays experienced in Judaism.

Historically, Purim stems from the Biblical book of Esther when Jews were saved from extermination during their time in Persia. Esther, our beautiful and intelligent heroine, along with Mordecai, her cousin/foster parent, saved the Jewish people from death by evil Haman.

Today we celebrate and show gratitude for life with food, drink, and the merriment of community. Even according to the Talmud, we are encouraged to drink until the difference between “cursed be Haman” and “blessed be Mordecai” is blurry.

The question you may be asking is how this has to do with our sex lives—besides using alcohol as an excuse to bed someone. Our answer lies in the Purim custom that also accents carnival-like celebrations, peppered with plays, parodies, and beauty contests.

Yes, dressing up as strong and sensuous Esther or wicked Haman, coupled with a few glasses of wine, can act to spice things up in the bedroom. Basically, Purim acts as a holiday for sanctioned role-play. And role-play can be employed as awesome foreplay.

Role-play, as defined by http://www.roleplayingfantasies.com, is an instance or situation in which one deliberately acts out or assumes a particular character or role. However, creating a role-play scenario, or even initiating conversation to do so, can be scary for many couples. It might help to know that fantasy is the source of our sexual desire. Without fantasy, we might be libido-less. Thus, many couples are pleased to learn that sexual make-believe may help bridge the gap between fantasy and reality, thus bolstering intimacy in the bedroom.

If you’ve never tried role-play as foreplay, go ahead and use Purim as an excuse to get dressed up and turn up the heat. If nothing else, perhaps you create a sexier outlook on how you view and taste your hamentaschen!

Have a sexy Shabbos!

About Dr. Jenni Skyler

Jenni Skyler, PhD, MSEd is a sex therapist and board certified sexologist. She is the Director of The Intimacy Institute for sex and relationship therapy in Boulder, Colorado. She holds a doctorate in Clinical Sexology and a Master of Education in Counseling Psychology - Marriage and Family Therapy track. She has worked in the field of sexual health as a therapist, educator, and public health consultant since 2005. In addition, Jenni is a PAIRS® certified instructor and hosts workshops and retreats to help couples emotionally enrich their relationships.

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