Dr. Jenni Skyler, Boulder’s own sex therapist and board certified sexologist, will be writing a regular feature for the Boulder Jewish News – “Sexy Shabbos with Dr. Jenni.” Born and raised in Miami, Florida, Dr. Jenni relocated to Colorado for the fresh, crisp air and raw Colorado wilderness.
We thought readers would like to know a little bit about her.
How did the connection between sexuality and Judaism play a part in your life?
The tenets and culture of Judaism always guided how my family operated in the world. I grew up learning that it was a mitzvah to have sexual relationships and sexual pleasure with your partner on the Sabbath. I remember how my family fully embodied an open approach towards sexuality. By the time I reached high school, I was the Dr. Ruth of our group, imparting straightforward relationship and sexuality advice.
Are you a Latke – Chanukah or Hamentaschen – Purim kind of woman?
Well, I like Chanukah and prefer my latkes with sour cream and applesauce—the more sauce the better. But I really enjoy Purim because it’s a sanctioned excuse to dress up and role play!
What is sex therapy?
Think Barbara Streisand in “Meet the Fockers.” Except that Barbara operated as more of a coach than a therapist. Sex therapy is psychotherapy focusing on issues relating to sexuality. This encompasses issues on sexual dysfunction, gender, sexual orientation, alternative sexual lifestyles, compulsive sexual behaviors, and general relationship intimacy. There is never any touching or nudity in session, but I do assign many exercises for clients to do at home. On the whole, my treatment approach is solution-focused. While we dive into deeper issues, my mantra is ‘solutions for life’—developing practical skills and solutions to better the sex life of the individual or couple.
What are the most common issues that you see?
My business, “The Intimacy Institute” is a holistic sexuality center where I offer opportunities for sexuality education and training, including sex/relationship therapy. I see both individuals and couples, so I see issues common to women, common to men, and common to couples.
- Women tend to struggle most often with anorgasmia, which is an inability to have an orgasm, either alone and/or with a partner (women can check out my upcoming January workshop series, “Becoming Orgasmic” – info on my website).
- Younger men often wrestle with premature ejaculation, while middle-aged and older men are challenged with erectile dysfunction.
- For couples, the biggest challenge is desire discrepancy. No two people have their sexual desires perfectly aligned. Sex therapy is almost essential for couples in this predicament in order to negotiate a solvable compromise.
Thank you Dr. Jenni, we look forward to a Sexy Shabbos! Upcoming columns will cover tips on how to maintain sexual health and vitality, top toys for your pleasure, the 8 spheres of intimacy and desire discrepancies. Dr. Jenni will also respond to comments and requests for other topics. For those interested in learning more about Dr. Jenni and her services please visit her website at http://www.theintimacyinstitute.org. We wish you much success in your new practice.